apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize