LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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