so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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