"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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