Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
