I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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