we have pet lesbian snakes
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
