His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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