Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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