I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
