I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
