Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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