Umm I'm too high to move.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
