I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
