all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize