oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i would punch a child for taco bell
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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