you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
