love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
