Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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