I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize