It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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