You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
