Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize