You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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