i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
