I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize