But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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