tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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