I wish life had little blips of pornography
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
