Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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