im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
