what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
