I accidentally had phone sex last night
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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