i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
