Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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