Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
