dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
there was a trapeze. enough said
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
