i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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