I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize