i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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