Swine flu. Run for my life!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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