You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
