well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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