this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
