Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
