chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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