He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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