They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize