She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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