We won't sleep together?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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