She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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