We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
