Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
