Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
