And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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