I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize