dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize