It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
