I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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