"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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